worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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