totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
