I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
