You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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