You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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