you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You are a genius and a whore.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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