I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize