The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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