You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she pinky promised me she was 18
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
