3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
