and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize