Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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