even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
