So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
