your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need to sanitize my soul.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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