I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
