Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
