I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
one might say we're banned from that church
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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