guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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