she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
