So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
