Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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