you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
