I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
