Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
