IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
