I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
