this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
