tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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