wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize