Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
