I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
