I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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