A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i believe in u and ur pee
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
