I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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