I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
