i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
