the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
