you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
