none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
