The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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