this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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