You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
