i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
