He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
50% drunk capacity currently
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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