idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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