How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
