sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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