i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
