i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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