I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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