She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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