So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
All the doctor said was why
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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