Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How external is "for external use only"?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
