I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
