did you get engaged???
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
