She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
