Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
