I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
