areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
