i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
