u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This toilet bowl is my home.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
