the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
