I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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