Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
